Now you know Twilight has reached an all new level of stardom when one of these “Not Another Scary/Teen Movie” type deals come out. The only part that made me laugh was The Wolf Pack scene lol. So, will any of you be watching this next month?
But not in a Debbie Does Dallas kinda way.
A few weekends ago, I tagged along with one of my bests and her family to Reno, and my first thought was, “Good God I’m gonna have to get really drunk to enjoy this trip.” But surprisingly, I managed to stay sober (except for those 2.5 hours before having a quesadilla and after chugging down 44 oz of strawberry daiquiri) and was entertained throughout the stay. This was partly due to a random Twilight convention that took place right in our very own hotel!
There were games, raffles, food, contests, and giveaways! I’d tell you more about it but how about I show you some pictures instead? Nothing like an Edward Cullen lookalike to revive that dying Twi-tard in you!
They needed security for him by the end of the night.
After watching Eclipse for the second time in one week, 3 things became official:
1) I hate ____
2) ____ can’t act
3) and Alice and Jasper are my favorite couple on AND off screen (sorry Jess)
The first two things I mentioned in a previous blog but because they don’t make any bullet-proof vest with the Cullen Crest monogram on it, I dare not repeat them again. However, I figured it was safe to share my thoughts on #3. Besides, Jess is on the other side of the country. By the time she gets over here, I would’ve had plenty of time to escape.
Obviously, I have a favorite pair, but I do think each couple in the Cullen clan is cute in their own way and all have a love that is worthy of an eternity together. So just to be fair, I’m giving all of them a shout-out, in high school yearbook form. Starting with …
This morning I sat next to the mortal equivalent of Riley on BART (which reminds me, I need to write a missed connections ad on Craigslist for him lmao) and emailed the girls about it.
This naturally sparked a hormone induced thread where we somehow … got on the topic of Edward’s eyebrows in Eclipse. Which then, reminded me of how his sideburns bothered me. Which then, prompted Jess to bring up his slight weight gain. Which then, made us both realize – “Edward Cullen, you is SLACKIN!”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m forever Team Edward. Although I still can’t shake Jasper’s accent in Eclipse, I reckon it was the hottest thing everrrr. I can only image the pillow talk him and Alice have – but I digress. It’s just that, come on buddy! You’re supposed to be like, the most beautiful thing EVERRR. And in Twilight, when you first graced the screen I totally got it. And judging by the shrieks of dozens of other ladies in the theater that night, they got it too. But that was back when you looked like this:
Grey peacoat blue t-shirt Edward, My fave
And then you left Bella and went off far yonder. Meanwhile your boy Jacob chopped off his hair, and got all buffed on us and you looked somewhat like this:
Airbrushed 6-pack Edward
And then you and Bellz made up, you started to eat more and more deer and began to gain “happy pounds”. In addition to those damn sideburns that look like someone did a bad taper on ‘em (p.s. this pic do his sideburns no justice).
Mutton Edward
In no way am I suggesting that Edward is fat. I mean, come on. Edward is perfect. All he gotta do is run from Forks down to Cali and back and the weight will be gone. I’m just sayin, I want Twilight Edward back. You know, the one I was ashamed of lusting over ‘cuz .. well … ‘CUZ HE WASN’T REAL! Yah, that one.
Which Edward was your fave? Anyone else signing the “Edward Cullen, Please bring sexy back” petition with me? ‘Cuz I’ve been defending his beauty for far too long to have him fall off in Broken Dawn. Boy better bring it! He has a beach scene in it for crying out loud!
It’s probably a given that the DILF in the group is Carlisle. And you can’t get any more OG than Billy Black. But I feel as if there’s one father in the movie that hasn’t been getting the credit that he deserves although I swear he gets funnier and funnier with every film, and that’s Chief Swan.
Sure, he may not be a spirit warrior, or even married to Kelly Taylor, but Chief Swan will always have a special place in my heart. Not in that creepy Angelina Jolie Billy Bob Thorton kinda way, but I just can’t help but feel for the dude. Poor things daughter never listens to him, his ex-wife remarried, and vampires are always visiting him in his sleep without him even knowing they exist!
But I think the real reason I love Charlie (you like that first name basis stuff?) is because he’s hilarious! Every scene he was in made me laugh. I was going to put this in the post I wrote down there (Total Eclipse of the Heart) but I thought I’d give him his own post since he’s already so underappreciated.
So Chief Swan, I salute you! Not only that. But I wanna like, have lunch with you. I got a few aunts who might be around your age that you may get along with. I sure hope you like lumpia!
Alright, Kay, I know I said I wouldn’t blog about Eclipse since you and T.I. both haven’t watched it. But being a Twi-hard you should know that I’m nearly peeing in my pants trying to contain my excitement so yall, along with anyone else who hasn’t watched it yet, will just have to skip this post for now.
I won’t do a full on review, but I will say the following:
Apparently Seattle isn’t the only place Riley and his clan have visited.
According to KTVU, a Colorado woman drove her SUV into a ditch due to a vampire sighting. No really, read for yourself:
FRUITA, Colo. — A Colorado woman claims the sight of a vampire spooked her into backing her sport
utility vehicle into a ditch. According to the Colorado State Patrol, the Fruita woman was driving down an unlit dirt road late Sunday, when she put her SUV in reverse and backed it into a canal.
She told first responders she put the car in reverse because a vampire was chasing her.
The woman was not injured in the crash. Troopers do not think drugs or alcohol were a factor, but said the woman may not have taken certain medications that day.
They added they found no evidence of a vampire.
OK. I’m sorry but that last line had be DYING. It was as if the writer was submilinaly saying, “Oh, and btw lady you’re a fucking loony bin.” You should see my face right now. Actually, here …
That's my "Um okaaaaaay?!" face.
HAPPY FLYday y’all! I’m posting this on behalf of DooWa and I… While she’s packing for her stupid weekend getaway in the stupid sun… and i’m at WORK! YIPEE! lol. She calls this one, “the lush and the lesbian” yep… that sounds about right.
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T.I.: since my computer was acting like a brat ALL DAY LONG, i’m posting my pic now. technically it’s saturday…but whatever. i took this pic earlier today so it was still friday! i didn’t exactly cheat! LOL (and yes…there is no longer a ring on my finger) 1 week from today and i will be in Jacksonville, Florida living the life! 
Happy weekend everyone!
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WTFriends?!
Jeanine's friend Joe was posing with a bag of garlic and she thought of us!
WTFORKS ARE YOU DOIN?
I’m sorry but I’m one of the suckers (pun intended) who fell for the ridiculousness of the Jersey Shore so naturally I was dying when I saw this Twilight spoof. My favorite part is the beginning where Snooki … well, acts like Snooki lol.
So ummm, remember that underaged shirtless warewolf kid from the Twilight series? The one that had cougars of all shapes, colors, and sizes in a frenzy? Well he’s back. In GQ mag. With a vengeance. With all “To Catch a Predator” thoughts aside though, this is his best spread (no pun intended) thus far. I esp love the ones of him with his hands wrapped up. I’m just gonna stare at his abs and pretend he’s someone else now … who? I don’t care. Long as they’re at least 25. But for the rest of yall, you definitely want to check out the rest of the pics after the jump. And make sure you got a sham-wow nearby.
